Paradigms

Paradigms

Paradigm is a difficult word to some people. It sounds scientific. It is scientific, but it has much broader implications. It even has very practical uses for normal people like you and I. Understanding the power of the paradigm is the key to making the positive changes that bring strength to our individual and our family. Consider a few examples.

The door.

You walk up to the front door of an establishment. You reach for the seemingly oversized handle and struggle to pull the door open with all of your strength. After the door will not budge, you look on with confusion. The sign on the door says “open” and there are people doing business inside, some of which have stopped to look at you.

In that moment a women walks past you, pushing the door wide open and walking into the establishment.

This story is good start to understating a paradigm. A paradigm is a lens through which we see things. As you approached the door, your paradigm is that of pulling the door to open it. However separated that paradigm was from the truth, it is what you held to be true in your own mind. It was your paradigm.

The women’s paradigm was that pushing the door would open it, a paradigm that was aligned with the reality of the situation.

The two women.

As you walk through the door, you hold it open for two approaching women. The first thanks you for being such a kind gentlemen. “It is nice to see chivalry is still alive,” she says.

The second woman casts you an angry glance. She suggests that she can open her own door, and she is not dependent on a man to provide her any assistance. “Thanks, but no thanks,” she says with a snarl.

The illusion.

What do you see in the illustration at the top of the post?

If you are like me, then you see a lady with a young face. If you are a Bill Clinton fan, you probably see a jazz musician, playing his saxophone. Look closely until you see both images.

Regardless of what you saw first, the facts are the same. The white and black spaces exist on the screen in the given dimensions. That is not arguable, but how we perceive those spaces is very arguable.

Conclusion.

The implications of this are momentous. After all, if our paradigms do not align with reality, we may be attempting to pull a door open that actually requires a push. We may be criticizing someone for seeing the saxophone, when they see a young woman.

Over the next four weeks, I would like to discuss paradigms in the context of our closest relationships. If you believe the strength of your closest relationships is important, then let’s discover the four ineffective paradigms that have been wreaking havoc on our relational strength. Let’s also find the effective paradigms that can yield dramatic change to those relationships that matter most to us.

-Strength of GIF